Risks...

In cased in these four walls again trying to find a truth worth sharing.
Sitting in tears that I pray my brothers and sisters are bearing.
A swirling torrent among endless fields of nothingness I see.
Its violence swallows all things in its path.
We run and run and run but nothing in this field can save us it is filled with nothing.
I am here again and I cannot stop crying for them.
Every day I see more people engulfed in this death and I am helpless.
I want to save you all, I know I can't.
Let me be the new Atlas and carrying this world some how.
In their hearts is fear.
On their hands is blood.
Out of their mouths are lies.
In their eyes is hopelessness.
He is the only hope.
They are lost and we have the way!
Give them Jesus.
Show them Jesus.
Speak to them Jesus.
Live to them Jesus.
Save them Jesus.
There is no greater love than this that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.

wrote forever ago makes no sense?

I watch the wind blow and the trees sway
I watch the leaves fall and the new day
I feel the cold on my skin
I feel the crumble within
I hear the cars pass by
I hear myself cry
I smell the fires burn
I smell the contents of the urn
I hold in my hands all things
I hold the book that in which truth rings

Please

Routine breeds complacency or so I hear, but don't you know I love you my dear?
You see evil in my eyes and watch my fist clenched and my jaw locked, but you know I am harmless.
I know not this love for if I did you would not even recognize me.
Oh now I see you oh Glory You surround me, and still I do not point to the grace that has covered me in Your blood.
I will never be the same I will never be the same standing in the all consuming fire that is Your righteousness.
As my darkness is expelled I disintegrate in Your hands.
I hear no cheers or see any tears;therefore, I shall keep walking in the suffering here and keep scraping my fist across the ground and I will scream so loud.
I pray I will quit beating my chest, and flexing my muscles, my God I hate me!
Oh I want to hide from you but every single morning you stare my in the eyes, and you know I cannot ignore you, I mean I hear I think I am logical.
I am so deprived of holiness, and so ugly.
You are right to want me out of your life, but I thank God he forgives me because he deserves to pass that judgment on my soul, yet He loves me and when I rest my head that is all I have some nights...most nights.

Look into my eyes again am I still the same?
I stare into my eyes and the mirror still beckons the same ugly image I wished to be martyred and I prayed for a righteous death, but You know that is too easy for me.
I want to hide in a cave, so You want to make me a leader?
Lord I wish I could say I shared your sense of humor.

I have slain the prophets and now she storms towards me with her sword, but I will gird up my loins and stand tall! I will not retreat this time Lord for You my God are my strength, and no matter how deep the sword cleaves into my neck, no matter how much blood spills from my wounds I will never doubt that you will display Your glory.

When You are near I pray I will be the mirror.
When I have nothing I pray You will be all I desire.
I don't know when this will stop.
I doubt I will sleep tonight, but Your glory is too important to ignore.

schizophrenic

I grasp for the wind and when gather it all back in my hands are covered in sin.
Look to the east You aren't there I look to the west You aren't there and You continue to hide Your face from me.
I will wait on You I think, but I will be honest that thought process stinks and I'm starting to think that all I have left to try is give You the kitchen sink.
I am the sin and the hate the destruction and I will seal your fate and I will stay up late and wait to break all of you up inside this wrath is dangerous and I will quickly slay you weak pieces of garbage....oh wait that is a lie! Lucifer go to hell and die!
Vanity of vanities this is all toil and pain even though my Savior was slain?
Oh all will be judged maybe I won't budge and stay in bed, hell I know where I am going when I am dead.
There is no reason to spread the blood that saves us from dread.
Why do you hate me it hurts more than you know Lord did you really make me white as snow?
The tears in my eyes matter not because everyone thinks I am a robot.
You can't hear my screams because you hide behind the scenes and tell them all sins I have reamed.
Everything will whither it will turn to dust even the metal will oxidize and rust.
OH GOD HEAVEN OR BUST!
Oh Light You shine so bright and move so fast,but even your greatness doesn't seem to last.
Take all the hate and fear and doubt, forget the suffering and pain, leave the fury and blame, expel the lust and shame, all the broken promises and lasting lies amidst the tears and scarred wrists still the love of God persists!
I am getting tired I feel my mind needs to be rewired, but the last thoughts while our heart rots still in spite of all of this even the the confusing twists and even while crying in the bottom of pits the love of God still persists!

Doesn't make sense?

A broken heart
A new start
A darkened room
A shining moon
A deceiving guide
A Lord's bride
A lost face
A saving grace
A falling dove
A undying love
A dead man
A spotless lamb
A heart of loss
A wooden cross
A lasting sob
The one true God

Something maybe?

On the mountain top I cry out for the Lord.
The wind rushes through, the fire burns, the ground shakes, yet still I wait for the whisper in the wind.
Glory You are all around me.
I walk in You and even though I can’t hear Your voice I keep walking towards Your glory.
You give me rest in You, but the world gives me toil for the root of all evil.
The ones I love are crumbling beneath its fist, yet You continue to bless me through all of this.
I don’t know what to do Lord.
I have put stripes on their backs, and the pain I have caused makes me want to give up.
The king of liars throws me in the furnace and I doubt the Son of Man will protect me this time.
Yet your cross still stands to this day.
I look up at it sometimes and I remember Your suffering and pain, and the sin that You conquered that day.
More and more I look at your Cross and remember what Your blood covered, but then I remember what my blood covered hands done have with Your Spirit in me.
I was too weak and too prideful.
I have made my own grave to take rest in.
I pray I won't die here.
I know You are reaching for me Father, but I grasp for You with my eyes closed.
I will pray because sometimes that is all you can do, but I pray because sometimes it is all you need to do.