schizophrenic

I grasp for the wind and when gather it all back in my hands are covered in sin.
Look to the east You aren't there I look to the west You aren't there and You continue to hide Your face from me.
I will wait on You I think, but I will be honest that thought process stinks and I'm starting to think that all I have left to try is give You the kitchen sink.
I am the sin and the hate the destruction and I will seal your fate and I will stay up late and wait to break all of you up inside this wrath is dangerous and I will quickly slay you weak pieces of garbage....oh wait that is a lie! Lucifer go to hell and die!
Vanity of vanities this is all toil and pain even though my Savior was slain?
Oh all will be judged maybe I won't budge and stay in bed, hell I know where I am going when I am dead.
There is no reason to spread the blood that saves us from dread.
Why do you hate me it hurts more than you know Lord did you really make me white as snow?
The tears in my eyes matter not because everyone thinks I am a robot.
You can't hear my screams because you hide behind the scenes and tell them all sins I have reamed.
Everything will whither it will turn to dust even the metal will oxidize and rust.
OH GOD HEAVEN OR BUST!
Oh Light You shine so bright and move so fast,but even your greatness doesn't seem to last.
Take all the hate and fear and doubt, forget the suffering and pain, leave the fury and blame, expel the lust and shame, all the broken promises and lasting lies amidst the tears and scarred wrists still the love of God persists!
I am getting tired I feel my mind needs to be rewired, but the last thoughts while our heart rots still in spite of all of this even the the confusing twists and even while crying in the bottom of pits the love of God still persists!

Doesn't make sense?

A broken heart
A new start
A darkened room
A shining moon
A deceiving guide
A Lord's bride
A lost face
A saving grace
A falling dove
A undying love
A dead man
A spotless lamb
A heart of loss
A wooden cross
A lasting sob
The one true God